Pineconeattack!

Blades of Steel
NES
1-2 players
500 points

Okay, I hate sports games but I love this game. Not only did this game knock me over with its amazing* digitized voice, but you could actually beat the shit out of your opponent in a fist fight! Retro hockey doesn’t get any better than this, unless Nintendo would actually get the licensing for Nekettsu Kunio Hockey. That game is rad! Blade of Steel is still radical but not nearly as awesome or tubular as Kunio Hockey but pretty damn gnarly and (another bad 80’s slang word), dude! Save yourself and pick up the real cart for $3.00 or be lazy and download it for $5. It’s still worth it.

With stick in hand and confidence brimming, you are looking to bring home the cup, win the MVP award, get on the covers of major sports magazines and date a beautiful model (not necessarily in that order). But soon you will learn that, in this league, nothing is ever given to you, and before you can reach your goals, you’ll have to put the puck in the net and score some. You’ll need both the artful skills of a finesse player and the bone-crushing brutality of an enforcer. Defend your own goal against unrelenting power plays, or put the pressure on your opponent’s goalie and try a slap shot of your own. Don’t forget to defend yourself when anger flares because the gloves come off and fists start flying. So strap on blades of steel and prepare to either make a name for yourself or be put on ice.

*Not really amazing

Average eBay price: $3.00

Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie Kong’s Double Trouble
SNES
1-2 players
800 points

A platformer by Rare which I stop playing after the first Donkey Kong Country so no real opinion except this: if you want more of the mundane then go right ahead and have your fill of this more of the same and download this, but if you want a games that more than just flashy graphics and a games with real depth, then look more towards Super Metroid or any of the Wonderboy games.

Revisit Donkey Kong Island and join the Kong family for their latest adventure. The Kremlings have a mysterious new leader named KAOS and are up to their usual mischief, even capturing Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong. Now it’s up to Dixie Kong and the newest Kong, a giant infant named Kiddy, to rescue the two missing apes. They’ll travel across previously unseen parts of the island in their search, and even take to the skies in a rocket at one point. Lucky for them, Dixie and Kiddy’s powers complement each other (including Kiddy’s talent for rolling like a barrel), so they form a powerful team capable of major Kremling damage. They’re not completely on their own, either, since returning favorites like Funky Kong and Enguarde the swordfish provide help along the way. And in a series known for its abundance of secrets and high replay value, this entry doesn’t disappoint, with enough hours of game play to satisfy Donkey Kong himself. Anyone else have a sudden urge for some bananas?

Average eBay prices: $16.00

Rolling Thunder 2
Genesis
1-2 players
800 points

Rolling Thunder is the classic side scroller with gameplay feel from Elevator Action or Shinobi. Heavy anime influence, this game oozes James Bond. The game is very straight forward run ‘n gun with simultaneous co-op. What can I say more about this except that it is simple and fun?

In this follow-up to the original classic, you are once again a member of Interpol’s Rolling Thunder task force, and it’s up to you to stop the return of the evil Geldra organization. Now known as Neo-Geldra and led by a newcomer named Gimdo, the bad guys are bent on destroying several valuable outer-space satellites. In this one- or two-player game, you can play as Leila or Albatross-both characters from the original-as you venture through several different levels, trying to put a stop to the nefarious efforts of Gimdo and the rest of Neo-Geldra. Use your bullets wisely and make Rolling Thunder proud.

Average eBay: $8.00

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