Pineconeattack!

Back in July, on yet another night when I was treading the next-gen gray and brown war fields of Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare blat blatting, I got a game invite from Jedah Doma inviting me to play some game called Battlefield 1943. Seeing as how I didn’t have the game I politely declined and went back to laying trip mines and giggling, but the next day Jango called me up and asked why I hadn’t downloaded Battlefield 1943 as it was ‘my kind of game’. It gave me some pause for thought wondering if I was missing something, even though I’m not the biggest fan of World War II murder simulators. Jack Thompson has made me afraid of them you see, all that fear that by playing I’ll adopt a grizzled beard and start making references to the Big One. You know, bullshit.

Shit. I derailed my own self. Well, after getting Jango’s call I decided to download the demo at least and give it a whirl, as you get the whole game in the demo, but only are allowed 30 minutes to play. I think this gives it some disservice as the game isn’t very beginner friendly. Rarely are games based on semi-realistic physics ever beginner friendly in my opinion, especially if they are FPS games. And even more so when every gun in the game is affected by recoil, if not distance, and this means that you have to quickly get used to kneeling and firing accurately to land a kill in the first place. To say I was off handed when playing at first is a bit of an understatement. I couldn’t do crap for the first 20 minutes I played. Maybe I should have played that tutorial level right? My bad. And flying the planes? Whoo! I got very used to watching myself spiral uncontrollably into mountains, flags, trees and one very surprised guy in a jeep. Which is one game mechanic that DICE has kept in: difficult fucking flying vehicles. So there I am, crashing, shooting wildly, sniping poorly, and cursing repeatedly at this game, but still having a spot of fun. That ended when in the last 11 minutes of my online demo Jedah stopped in and decided to mercilessly school me, both over the mic and in the game; my blood level and his shrill, taunting voice rising into levels of which angels dream of until, defeated I sat back and just listened, gasping, Jedah’s utterances devolving into nothing more than, “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeEEeEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!” Thankfully my torture ended as the demo kindly informed me it was over, though the embarrassment was forever. The ribbing from Jedah continued however. I told him the game was worth getting, rubbing my hands with thoughts of revenge. Later, weeping into my stained pillow, I cursed him unto the seventh generation and promised myself I would be the BEST BATTLEFIELD 1943 PLAYER EVAH! or at least slightly better than Jedah, and that I wouldn’t let it die until I saw his son weeping and gnashing his teeth over his father’s gamer score, face covered in the ashes of war. Sunny, online war. Continue reading See the Sunny Skies in Battlefield 1943!