Baldy
This is Russell, aka Baldy. Russ has been my best friend and pal since 3rd grade when our parents played on the same softball team. Russell is also one of the most sarcastic assholes I have ever known. Most likely this is why me and him get along so damn well. He’s also an infamous sniper, in fact in every game he plays, he is always the one who meticulously stays up after hours until he can say, pull off that insane 100 hit air juggle on Dead or Alive.
This means of course that he is a dick.
Aside from being one of the weirdest gamers I know (he used to only play text only MUDS), Baldy here is also one of the the funniest writers I know, all full of snark and hate.
Though to be honest my mom still looks up in dismay any time he comes over to my parents house. If only because he is so damn tall he hit his FUCKING MELON on my sisters pull-up bar.
In short: he is a cheater, sniping asshole, whiner, tall fucker, dwarf loving, chavo-pig, political pundit, noise maker who CHEATS CHEATS CHEATS at games and one time punched me in the kidneys when I giggled after my 15th win at Project Justice.
GODSPEED RUSSMAN! BACK TO HAUGSWARTZ!
