Pineconeattack!

Valve has treated us with another hilarious video introducing the Aussie sniper to help advertise the now segregated from the “Orange Box” and the internet’s favorite team based FPS: Team Fortress 2.

If you haven’t had the pleasure to play through the “Orange Box” for the Xbox 360/PS3 or PC then you need to get yourself kicked in the nuts (or cunt punt for the ladies). Shame on you and go buy this game now.

Why? Because this game is badass and the advertisement is 100% pure unadulterated awesomesauce. Video after the jump.

–Jangofatt

(more…)

Well after a year of waiting and basically no real information other than the events of Portal will be involved somehow (Freeman gets the Portal gun maybe? GlaDOS shows up?) Valve has finally released the first of what will hopefully be many videos detailing what we’re to expect from the next episode. The only problem I can see, and man, 10 seconds in this video gets as dark and dystopian as anything, is in a game where you can’t see your feet, how does Valve expect you to pull off this kind of thing? No word on a XBOX or PS3 release yet, the screens shown were strictly PC only.

Let me know what you think.

I think this episode just might be the hardest ever! But I also have another video detailing just how dark and deep this rabbit hole gets, evidently, the events that changed not only Black Mesa, but the world are still unfolding and guess what gun and saw blade loving preacher returns?:

Horrifying!

-Tenno

Well my Xbox 360 died after less than a year. Poor guy.

He was well treated, well lit and well loved, and frankly, the real irony is that out of all my friends, that my 360 dies not only earlier than everyone elses, but is also my main gaming system. Go figure. (more…)

Okay, yes I have a fixation on Halo 3 lately (always), but I’ll make this quick.

Recently me and Jangofatt were tooling around in his den (Transformer toys everywhere LOL!) filming a bit where I unwrapped my cheaply purchased Covenant Lasertag Plasma Rifle. Much laughing and cussing was to be had. I also posted this video at Kotaku for the lulz and watched as the views rose to amazing heights. If 1000+ is amazing that is.

People mainly compliemented on the language, yes I cussed terribly, whoops. But others got a laugh out of it. So I was going to post more on it, but my camera is still orbiting where ever cameras orbit when family borrows the damn thing, so I’ll have it next…. month I suppose.

Either way, I was looking for other similar videos, maybe a bit less sarcastic than mine, when I came upon this gem of a find. (more…)

For anyone that asks, Rickrolling is providing a link to someone that leads to that most awesome of 80’s hits. It’s infamy lives on. Also, the forces of Hell itself cannot stand this song. Also also, boomboxes on Mars? FUCK YEAH!

- Tenno

Oh man, am I jazzed!
The ALIENS: COLONIAL SPACE MARINES game has been resurrected!

I’ve always been a huge Alien fan, and when the first game was canceled for PS2/Xbox I was disappointed to say the least. BUT our friends at Sega/Gearbox have decided to try and make some money this year and develop this little gem. (Where’s Streets of Rage 4 guys?) For all of you Aliens fanboys, the game will feature all authentic weapons (Pulse Rifle, Flame Thrower & even Hicks shotgun!), the awesome motion detector complete with thumping & whistle sound effects & light squad base shooter tactics.

This game looks way more promising than the crappy PS One Aliens games and with Gearbox (Brothers In Arms) at the helm it looks to be a competent tactical FPS. You guys know I’m not a big shooter fan, but I can’t deny my inner Aliens Fanatic. To quote Hudson (Bill Paxton)…”I’m ready man….READY TO GET IT ON…OWW!”

It will be released on Xbox 360, PS3 & PC this fall

-XenoJive
Dixi Finis!
“Game Over man, GAME OVER”

One of the immortal quests that game designers aspire to is creating the perfect partner. A believable backup or person (or creature) that not only can throwdown in a fight with you, but you have genuine rapport with.

Some of the best examples, and in my opinion the most actualized is Alyx from Half Life 2. She’s witty, funny, and kicks Combine and head crab zombie ass with aplomb. Or your teammates in Gears of War who, aside from dying a lot, are pretty funny guys with chainsaw guns, or even the Arbiter from Halo 3. Sure he is a pompous ass half the time, whacking other aliens and trying to convert them of their evil ways, but he’s there for you right?

Well, I’ll get into those guys some other time. Today I’m discussing the wonderful world of the buddy, the little guys that might not be the toughest cookies in the bowl, but with every chirp of their circuits, every limp ripping hop they make and  every bullet the spit, they win our hearts over and over!

Plus they are so damn cute!

(more…)

Well after a couple of months of thrilling everyone, Bungie has finally uncapped the Ranked Big Team Battle mode and released it for the masses.

Right off the bat I noticed that the usual parade of shrill voices and idiots is in very small numbers on this mode, so the kiddies must be avoiding this one for some reason. Or maybe I just got lucky.

Either way, the chance to finally work together as a team (and people generally work together better if they have something to lose, ie rank) makes Big Team that much more enjoyable to play, if only due to the airwaves being used for strategy. (more…)

So after a couple of moments of angst tinged pacing, I decided that since most of my Halo 3 friends had bought Call of Duty 4 and were currently orgasming elated over its awesome story and multiplayer I needed to pick myself up a copy. This necessitated a trip to Fry’s, which being a den of scum and villany was a fiasco, but game in hand and with patience tested by foolish, stupid morons, I was in the perfect mood to introduce terrorists guts to sunshine. (more…)

Normally I prefer to avoid lambasting about the same subjects as other sites, but the recent CNS News article in regards to Mass Effect ‘allowing people to engage in explicit sex’ was so blatantly ill-informed and just plain wrong that I felt the need to weigh in.

Play the FUCKING GAME already! More after the jump. (more…)