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Hot take: I was leading book club all wrong for 3 years, and one quiet member finally called me out
Last Tuesday at our meeting in my living room in Columbus, a member named Deb stayed after everyone left and told me she had not finished a single pick in 3 years because I talk for the first 20 minutes of every discussion. I always thought I was just warming up the room, but she said by the time I stop, everyone is just agreeing with me instead of sharing their own take. Now I am trying to open with a question and then keep my mouth shut for 10 whole minutes, which is way harder than it sounds. Has anyone else had to unlearn being the loudest voice in their club, and how did you handle it?
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dylanf781mo ago
Sort of disagree here. A book club needs someone to get things going or it turns into 12 people staring at their shoes for an hour, and that person is usually the host. Deb sat on this for 3 years without saying a word, which tells me the problem was not really your 20 minute intro, it was that nobody felt like jumping in after. A good host warms up the room and then pulls people out one by one instead of just going quiet and hoping someone fills the silence. So maybe try asking Deb directly what she thought before you hand the floor over, that way you are still leading but she gets her turn too.
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